\"Self-esteem | A Short Story & Talking Points for Youth\"

Coco Lawrence and Courtney Sims have been best friends since they were nine years old. They are almost thirteen now and hang out all the time. They are constantly experiencing various situations as they hold each other accountable and work through life’s experiences. They continually trust the Lord that He would help them do things the way Jesus would. In this short story we find the Courtneys struggling with their appearance. Thank goodness they received some great information from their Sunday Bible class teacher, Ms. Anna.

“What ‘cha doing, girl?” Coco called Courtney on her cell and asked.

Courtney stopped combing her hair and answered her cell. “Hey you! Just standing in front of my bathroom mirror getting ready for church and I gotta tell you, I can’t stand the way my hair looks. I think I’m gonna shave it all off and just go bald!”

“Please do it, please, please. I think it would be awesome for you to be bald.” Coco responded jokingly.

“Thanks for the encouragement, Coco.” Courtney snapped back.

Coco laughed. “You know I’m kidding. I think your hair always looks fine. I’ve told you before I wish I had the thickness you have. And your color is great.”

“Okay, okay. Enough! You’ve made up for the little smart remark earlier. You don’t have to start lying to me now.” Courtney kidded. “You know what, though, Coco? It’s not just my hair that I’ve been kind of frustrated with lately. I don’t like my lanky-looking legs. I feel like my feet are way too big for my body. And I really don’t like my big ears.”

“Courtney, stop! Your legs aren’t lanky. Your ears are not big. And your feet, well, maybe your feet are too big for those lanky legs.”

“Okay then, Coco! You want to battle? You told me last week that you wish you could have a thinner nose. You also said you couldn’t stand your small eyelashes. Oh, yeah, and you told me you hate the way your right pinky finger looks crooked from your other fingers. By the way, it does look a little freaky.”

“Courtney! That was just pure mean.”

They both knew each other was joking and both broke into a few seconds of laughter.

Courtney then asked Coco, “Isn’t it interesting how we both struggle with how we look? I mean, why do we do that?”

Coco thought for a moment and answered, “I think it’s because we want to feel good about ourselves and if the way we look isn’t up to the standard we think it should be, then we get down about our appearance and then down on ourselves.”

“I think you’re on to something, Coco. I guess we each have our own standard of what we think we should look like. I wonder where that comes from?”

“Great question, Court. I think it’s mostly from ourselves but remember the other day when I was at your house and we were looking at a teen fashion magazine you had? Everybody in there looked perfect. Perfectly smooth skin. Perfect body. Perfect hair. Perfect everything!”

Courtney responded, “Yep. I remember. I got depressed looking at it.” She giggled.

“Me, too.” Coco agreed with a chuckle. “Oh great. Just found another zit. Gotta get rid of it before I get to church.”

“Please do. I don’t want you grossing me out with some big pimple on your face. I won’t be able to focus during our class and the sermon.” Courtney quipped back.

Again, they both laughed and said they’d see each other at church shortly. Although the girls joked back and forth about this issue of their appearance, you could tell it was something that truly bothered them.

“Good morning, ladies.” Karen Carter said cheerfully. She was the teen girls Sunday Bible class teacher and the Courtneys loved her and her class.

“Morning Ms. Karen.” They both said in unison.

Ms. Karen said, “I brought a fruit tray to share with the class today. Y’all are welcome to some, if you like. Coco, will you please get the plates and forks that are on the shelf and place them next to the tray?”

Coco was glad to help and then asked. “Ms. Karen. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Does your appearance ever bother you? I mean, I think you look very nice but I mean…” Embarrassed at how here question came out, Coco found herself struggling with continuing.

Ms. Karen giggled and then gave Coco some relief. “Coco, I know exactly what you’re asking. I know you weren’t saying I didn’t look nice. And, yes, I do have issues occasionally with my appearance. At times I don’t think my hair looks good or my makeup isn’t how I would like it. Yeah, there are definitely times I just don’t like the way I look. Interesting you would ask. This morning’s lesson is actually about that exact issue.”

Other girls were walking into the classroom and Ms. Karen invited them all to have some fruit and marshmallow dip and then be seated so they could start with the morning’s Bible lesson. Once they all got settled, she told them to take their Bibles or phones and look up Psalm 139. Most of the girls used their phones because they had the You Version app on it while a couple of girls opened their actual Bibles.

Ms. Karen said, “Let’s look at verses 1 – 6 and then we’ll jump down and read verses 13 and 14. She began reading. 1“O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.”

“Okay, slide down to verse 13, please.” She asked and continued reading. 13“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

“This morning, I want to speak to you about a problem that many individuals of all ages battle with every day. It’s the issue of self-esteem. It comes in all forms. Lack of self-confidence. Lack of self-assurance. Lack of self-respect. Some have a difficult time accepting their physical looks or appearance.”

The Courtneys gave each other a quick glance remembering their earlier discussion while they were getting ready for church.

Ms. Karen continued. “Some feel that they don’t have any talents or abilities. Some believe they have nothing to offer the world around them.”

One of the girls in the room raised her hand.

Ms. Karen noticed her. “Yes, Susan.”

Susan asked, “Ms. Karen. So, if someone thinks they can’t do something very well, does that mean they have bad self-esteem?”

“Not necessarily, Susan. All of us can’t do everything well. We might be too small of stature. Or perhaps we don’t have the strength. It might be we just don’t have the ability to do something. However, that doesn’t mean we should get down on ourselves if we can’t do a particular task or handle a difficult situation when someone else seems to deal with it better. We need to look at the things we can do and be sure to handle our own frailties the best we can and the best way we know how to.”

“How do we do that, Ms. Karen? To be honest, I’m not good at any sport and I wish I were.” Brittany openly asked.

Ms. Karen answered. “Brittany, I appreciate you being so open. I don’t personally know about your sports abilities but I do know you have a wonderful voice. The solo you sang in the youth choir last week was absolutely beautiful.”

All the class nodded their heads in agreement and a couple even said something to that effect.

Ms. Karen continued. “You see class, as I said earlier, we all are not going to be able to do everything perfectly but we all have God-given talents and abilities that we need to hone and work on and use for His glory. That could be writing, or singing as in Brittany’s case and some of you are very good athletes. Perhaps you need to develop that hidden talent of playing a musical instrument like a guitar, piano or another instrument.”

Sadie spoke up and said with a discouraged look on her face, “I can’t sing, I’m not good at sports, and I’m not real, happy with how I look.”

“Sadie,” Ms. Karen began, “I think I know exactly how you feel. When I was y'all's age, I tried out for softball, volleyball, basketball and even cheerleading. I didn’t make either of those teams. Talking about feeling bad. I didn’t think I’d ever get out of that slump.”

“Sadie asked with much interest, “What did you do?”

“I talked to my parents first. They tried to encourage me but to be honest, I still was very upset. I thought life was over. I had gotten quite depressed. Then one of my best friends called me to see if I could spend the night with her. I checked with my parents and they said it was okay so I went over to my friend’s home later that day. We had a great time playing some video games and watching a couple of our favorite movies. Later that evening we got ready for bed and once we hit the bed, we must have talked for an hour or two. Then she said something that changed my whole perspective about myself.”

Courtney spoke out louder than she meant. “What did she say, Ms. Karen?”

“She told me that I was the best listener she knew. She said she could tell me anything and she always felt like I was very interested in what she said no matter what the subject. It made her feel extremely important.

Ladies, when she told me that, it was like a lightbulb, no, really a floodlight, that turned on in my head. I realized that it wasn’t important that I didn’t make the athletic teams or the cheerleading squad. That night God revealed to me I had other valuable talents. I began to pray and ask the Lord to pull me out of my depression and show me the skills He'd given me and how I should use them for His glory.”

The girls were really tuned into the lesson and most were sitting up straight and intently listening as if they had just found a gold nugget.

Coco interrupted Ms. Karen and asked her, “What did God show you?”

“Good question, Coco. He showed me other skills I had that I didn’t even know I had. He showed me that I was comfortable talking in front of others so I tried out for the debate team at school and won quite a few awards. I don’t think I would ever have been able to teach a class like this one if He hadn’t revealed to me the ability to teach. He showed me that the listening skills I had were good for me to be a counselor. As most of you know, that is my vocation. He also showed me that I had a writing skill that I’ve used in many different ways. So, girls, are you beginning to understand that God has given each of us particular abilities and talents to use for His glory? We need to spend time in His Word and in prayer and ask Him to reveal those to us and how we need to use them in our lives.”

At that moment the buzzer rang to let the morning classes know it was time to dismiss and get ready for the morning service in the sanctuary. Ms. Karen gave a short prayer and told the girls they would continue this lesson next Sunday and talk more about the physical appearance aspect. The girls were glad because they had many more questions.

Courtney grabbed Coco and said, “By the way, I see another zit on your forehead.”

Coco punched Courtney’s shoulder and responded, “Yeah, well, I had a hard time seeing Ms. Karen teach this morning because I couldn’t see past your big ears. Remind me to sit in front of you next time.”

They both laughed so hard that they both snorted. That, of course, made them laugh that much harder.